"Kuscheln!"Except, at nursery. And just about everywhere else now, too.
I swear, about a month ago, she was still a perfectly angelic child, as sweet as the dates she consumes by the half-dozen a day at the moment ("Datel! Dattel! Eh! Eh! Mama! Datil!").
It started with her coming home form school, telling us "push!", and gesturing a push with both hands, happily and enthusiastically. A swing playing context, I assumed. An older child befriending her in the nursery playground, and pushing her on the swing. Ah, a happy image. So I inquired, and found out that "push" had nothing to do with swings, but indeed only pushing, and that the instruction they received at nursery obviously was, "No Push!"
Moving on from there, Tara decided that she was being neglected at home, and that a great, inspired and highly successful response to bad cases of neglect - aka as 'mummy sending a text message' or 'mummy ironing two pairs of trousers and 3 t-shirts' or 'mummy looking at the computer for 10 minutes'; just so we're clear about the character of the neglect the poor child suffers - was banging her head against the table, or, joy of joys, clawing at her own face, crunching it up in her little hand, and complaining to mummy of "aua! aua!" in the hope of cuddles, kisses and attention.
Now let's combine the two, and refer to her daily reports from nursery.
2.2.08 Played in the house giving 'doll' and 'rabbit' some dinner. Was pushing some of the children away with her hands in their faces.
4.4.08 Played quite well this afternoon but has been pushing the older children and hitting them with toys, mostly if they come near her when she is playing.
(Not to mention the incident with daddy dying from tummy ache on the sofa, and Tara telling me daddy was "sick-sick-sick", only then to go to him and hit him on the head with her cup as hard as she could)
Last week I still felt reassured by the Kindergartentanten's explanations, that she only did it if a child approached her with unwanted attentions, or encroached upon her personal space. I noticed to my great relief at play time that she seemed to spare smaller children and babies, who she studied with loving tender attention.
Yesterday, however, we were invited to someone's house. Someone has a 2 and a 1 year old. Tara want straight for them, the way other folk approach a visitor with an outstretched hand, she approached her baby hosts with a hand reaching to push their faces, and got extremely territorial over their toys and their little chairs, stopping only short at hissing. Great. Greatly embarrassing.
Now I'm sure there's a perfect developmental, or child-psychological explanation for it, and I'm equally sure that it will have stopped by the time we get to marry her off. But. Dammit. Tara. Stop. It. NOW. No push! Nicht schubsen! Nicht kratzen! Und schon gar nicht kleinere Kinder! Come on, live up to your gorgeous angelic darling looks!
I swear, about a month ago, she was still a perfectly angelic child, as sweet as the dates she consumes by the half-dozen a day at the moment ("Datel! Dattel! Eh! Eh! Mama! Datil!").
It started with her coming home form school, telling us "push!", and gesturing a push with both hands, happily and enthusiastically. A swing playing context, I assumed. An older child befriending her in the nursery playground, and pushing her on the swing. Ah, a happy image. So I inquired, and found out that "push" had nothing to do with swings, but indeed only pushing, and that the instruction they received at nursery obviously was, "No Push!"
Moving on from there, Tara decided that she was being neglected at home, and that a great, inspired and highly successful response to bad cases of neglect - aka as 'mummy sending a text message' or 'mummy ironing two pairs of trousers and 3 t-shirts' or 'mummy looking at the computer for 10 minutes'; just so we're clear about the character of the neglect the poor child suffers - was banging her head against the table, or, joy of joys, clawing at her own face, crunching it up in her little hand, and complaining to mummy of "aua! aua!" in the hope of cuddles, kisses and attention.
Now let's combine the two, and refer to her daily reports from nursery.
2.2.08 Played in the house giving 'doll' and 'rabbit' some dinner. Was pushing some of the children away with her hands in their faces.
4.4.08 Played quite well this afternoon but has been pushing the older children and hitting them with toys, mostly if they come near her when she is playing.
(Not to mention the incident with daddy dying from tummy ache on the sofa, and Tara telling me daddy was "sick-sick-sick", only then to go to him and hit him on the head with her cup as hard as she could)
Last week I still felt reassured by the Kindergartentanten's explanations, that she only did it if a child approached her with unwanted attentions, or encroached upon her personal space. I noticed to my great relief at play time that she seemed to spare smaller children and babies, who she studied with loving tender attention.
Yesterday, however, we were invited to someone's house. Someone has a 2 and a 1 year old. Tara want straight for them, the way other folk approach a visitor with an outstretched hand, she approached her baby hosts with a hand reaching to push their faces, and got extremely territorial over their toys and their little chairs, stopping only short at hissing. Great. Greatly embarrassing.
Now I'm sure there's a perfect developmental, or child-psychological explanation for it, and I'm equally sure that it will have stopped by the time we get to marry her off. But. Dammit. Tara. Stop. It. NOW. No push! Nicht schubsen! Nicht kratzen! Und schon gar nicht kleinere Kinder! Come on, live up to your gorgeous angelic darling looks!
"Nimm!" - "Nein, Tara, du musst sagen, 'Komm!'"Blast, Tara! Mummy is trying to make friends here!
Of course, we share mostly great moments, her and I on our lonesome. Like our midnight snacks in bed when she wolfs down a whole pear in no time, and then throws herself at me for a "kuscheln!" before we go back to our 'night-nights'. Like kicking the ball around outside. Like chasing the neighbour's cat and trying to pull it's tail (hehe). Like - well, anything that doesn't involve ironing, computers, mobile phones or other children. Phew, what a hand-full. Needs a sibling, ideally an older one, that she can scratch, fight, and push legitimately. But as it is, only everybody else is having more babies. And the only other available children we could borrow as play mates on occasion, she scratches and pushes illegitimately.
BUT, before anyone suspects so, me trying NOW to get her into the best Roman Catholic school around for September 2010 has NOTHING to do with all that, at all.
6 comments:
OK, I'm laughing so hard it hurts. Partially for you and partially for me because this morning Lorenzo smacked his Papa across the face HARD after he picked him up to say goodbye.
Hmm.
So I guess it DOESN'T get BETTER....
I am not that worried. I mean, Tara is the daughter of Jose AND Alex. Even if it's only one tenth of that social skill gene that is crazily developed in Alex, Tara will be a gain for the society of either England, Germany, or Spain (and any other country she will choose to live in, if she got her mom's adventure gene too). It will blossom one day, just keep on watering it. You're all into gardening anyway...
Are you sure those countries don't have some sort of LAW against violent children????
There is always someplace like Iraq...
Total normal. Oder sagen wir mal so, Martha macht das auch gern. Maximilian will sie immer an die Hand nehmen, oder umarmen, oder gar küssen - NIX für Martha. "Milian WEG!" wird dann auch mit Schubsen unterstützt. Aber es ist schon viiiel besser geworden. Also, keine Sorgen machen, Alex!
Jetzt sagt sie nämlich: "Lass bitte! und schubst. Ist doch schon viel höflicher, oder? ;o)
Alex - do not worry she is preparing you for the 'terrible twos' stage. Thomas went through similar actions at this stage and is now well into the throws of the 'twos' with tantrums, lashing out, wanting his own way, taking pleasure in causing a 'scene' whilst out or in the company of family and friends and he seems to revel in watching those 'violent' cartoons where the characters get batterred and beaten but they still come up smiling to live another day (I am talking of Sky CBeeBies - nothing more sinister). Anyway at the end of it all it takes just one angelic smile and 'pitiful' look and the heart melts and he becomes that lovable, adorable, sweet angelic person that you want to wrap your arms around and hold onto for ever.
Janet
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