Sex: Female

I was rustling through my notes just after today's consultation with scan-man, our good doctor Mr. D., as Jose, all absorbed in machinery, tables and data displayed on the screen, gasped and called me. Look, he said with a small excited voice, and pointed at the two all revealing little words on the screen: sex, female. What a let down! 8 months of secrecy, for all to be revealed without ceremony? SHIT, said I, Mr.D.! You've forgotten to hide the gender! Scan- man chuckles at my un-British rudeness (did I apologise for naugthy vocab? Of course not!), takes a look and does away with Jose's delight in two seconds flat: Oh, that? That's yours.
My gender! As in, the pregnant woman's sex: female. Officially recorded on a rather modern piece of equipment capable of producing 4-D images of our (appearantly VERY big-nosed, but that's another story and hopefully all miscalculations) offspring. Very well - back to square one, the 50-50 chance of having either boy or girl, at any rate a surprise (the greatest surprise hopefully being the size of the nose after this machine has scared the living hell out of me today), I might still be announcing our baby to Jose as, "Darling, your daughter is a boy!" (at which point he will hopefully also be so relieved at the sight of a normal sized nose that he won't mind having to try again for a daughter in a few months' time (not that he'd mind that in the first place...))


At any rate, I proudly present my tummy, which has grown so well over the last two weeks that Mr. D. no longer feels the need to scare me with visions of imminent c(ut & stitch-stitch-stitch)-sections but will leave me to breed in peace for for another two weeks (the luxury!) before he scans for fetal growth and wellbeing yet again at then 38 weeks, when things will be getting REAL. Which leaves me with two weeks to rest&nest and read up on induced deliveries, scan-man's latest suggestion. But I'll leave that for the night before the scan; who knows, I might go into spontaneous labour before then and never be bothered with either epidurals (eek!), inductions (ouch!) or c-sections (knives! needles! HELP!) - after all I am sacrificing my visions of super-natural earth mama home births on the altar of his scientific technological birthing methods. I should have something coming my way, shouldn't I?